


Why Me?

by anything_for_armin



Series: Being A Titan Is Hard [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse Of Commas And Long Ass Sentences (Sorry About That), Also I Added Some Non-Canon Things In Here So The Story Makes Sense, Also Jean Hears Everything, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armin Arlert Hates Medicine, Armin is Very Bad at Handling Emotions, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eren Is trying His Best Okay???, Eren tries to help, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Think This Counts As Fluff?? Idk, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Sickfic, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29605650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anything_for_armin/pseuds/anything_for_armin
Summary: In which Armin cannot deal with emotions, Eren is trying his best, and Jean hears everything.!TW FOR PANIC ATTACKS, MINOR MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT (nothing graphic, just mentions), AND VOMIT. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS AFFECTS YOU IN ANY NEGATIVE WAY!
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Series: Being A Titan Is Hard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176785
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	Why Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly my first work on here so don't be surprised if it's shitty lmao. Also, it took me a whileeeee to actually get to the point of this so I am so so sorry for that...  
> This takes place in S3 and I may have altered a few things to fit the story so it's not 100% canon. I hope it's not too much of a bother and sorry if it is.  
> Also, TW for panic attacks, minor mentions of sexual assault (nothing too graphic though), vomit, and S3 spoilers.  
> Um, enjoy ig?  
> !ALSO FOR SOME REASON I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY THIS BUT I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT (apart from this work ofc) I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED, AND ALL CREDITS GO TO HAJIME ISAYAMA AND HONESTLY IDK IF I EVEN NEED TO MENTION THIS BUT ALL ANIMATION CREDITS GO TO WIT STUDIO AND MAPPA!

Armin had lost track of time. How long had it been since he'd woken up? Three hours? Four? He didn't know. Didn't care. All he knew was that it was freakishly hot and that he was incredibly nauseous. Was it because of the titan serum? Maybe he felt like this because he had practically killed Erwin? Maybe a sickly combination of the two? He didn't know that either. He realized there were a lot of things he didn't know - like how to be the Commander's successor, for example.

It seemed like all his thoughts in the past few hours seemed to revolve around Commander Erwin, and for some reason Bertolt as well. He had absolutely no sympathy left in him for Bertolt, given all he'd done, but he couldn't help but feel sick at the thought that he, Armin, had eaten a person. And despite the fact that Bertolt could hardly be called a person after he'd murdered half of their comrades and assisted the people who planned to murder more, Armin couldn't help but feel like he was turning into the exact thing they were fighting against.

He knew that if he were to try and transform again he'd have a consciousness, but deep down he had somehow convinced himself that he was no different from the others. A mindless, human-devouring titan. An enemy. 

Armin's head was racing, thoughts running at what seemed like a thousand miles per hour, and this time it wasn't welcomed. No, this wasn't like devising a plan to save his comrades, and it wasn't a witty attempt at putting the pieces together and trying to figure out what the actual hell was going on, it was his emotions overwhelming him, his thoughts overwhelming him, and not in the way he wanted them to.

He had always had trouble noticing when he was spiraling, and even more trouble stopping himself from delving deeper into his own head, and even when he did manage to do so he was bound to break sooner or later. Usually Eren and Mikasa would be there to help him. Eren. Where was Eren?

Oh right. He and Mikasa went down to the basement with Levi and Hanji. He kinda wished he could've gone with them now. Despite the fact that Shiganshina was in ruins and covered in fire as well as the blood of his comrades, he definitely would've appreciated getting to go down to the basement and find answers, to walk around the place he used to call home. Maybe the nostalgia would take him out of his thoughts for a little...

But it wasn't nostalgic memories, or Eren, or even Mikasa who snapped him out of his daze. This time, surprisingly, it was Jean.

"Armin, don't tell me you're gonna pass out or something... Carrying Sasha home will be bad enough on its own, let alone if we have to carry you too" 

"Oh, sorry. Just zoned out a bit I guess" his voice was weak. Why did he sound like that? So fragile. He hated it.

There was no response from Jean, so Armin assumed that his answer had been more or less believable. Who could blame anyone for zoning out in this situation? In fact, the more he looked at his friend's faces, the more he realized everyone was more or less "zoned out". Maybe not as deep in thought as he was just a few seconds ago, but they were all pretty shaken up. Who wouldn't be? They had lost one hundred and ninety-nine people today, all of which he had been familiar with. He hadn't known them personally per say, but just knowing their names was enough to make it hurt all that much more.

Now that Armin had been removed from his dazed state he was determined not to let himself fall into it again. If he was going to be known as the one who killed the Commander he may as well make himself useful so he's not deemed useless as well as a murderer.

What were they even doing? They were supposedly keeping watch but Armin didn't think anyone on the enemy side would have much strength for quite a while. Unless a horde of titans suddenly showed up they should be just fine, and they hadn't seen any while walking through the woods so the chances of that happening were low. Still, better safe than sorry right?

He sighed as his eyes scanned across the trees again, desperately trying not to look at the absolute wreck directly down below. Eren had told him what had happened on the other side of the wall, and he feared that if he looked down onto the ruins stained with blood he might just throw up pieces of Bertolt. Was that even possible? Was Bertolt still in his system? Or did all remains of him disappear when Armin obtained the powers of the Colossal Titan? Armin didn't know this either.

Armin realized there were quite a lot of things he didn't know - how to not disappoint people, how to snap himself out of his stupid head, and also whether or not Bertolt was still being digested inside him. Not to mention the countless questions he had - about the titans, about his newfound powers and what was expected of him, about why the actual hell Levi had chosen him over Erwin, and the most important question of all - why the fuck did he still feel so nauseous.

Whatever. He had to suck it up. He had no right to mope. After all, he was the one who'd lived. He had no right to feel like this, to allow himself to feel like this. And so Armin pushed his feelings down, as he had done countless times before, bottling them away for now until he'd allow them to be released. Preferably when no one was around to hear him. 

Armin looked over the trees once more before turning to his friends. Sasha looked fine for now, so he'd postpone giving her water for just a little longer. Connie and Jean looked fine too, apart from the haunted looks on their faces. Jean had a slightly different look on his face though. Focused, and eyes scanning over one spot, again and again. It was almost like... He was looking for something.

He didn't seem to find it though, seeing as how his eyes were still kept on that one spot a few seconds later, and his face stayed in it's slight frown. And although he trusted Jean, Armin couldn't help but hope that Jean wasn't an enemy as well. After all, he had trusted Reiner and Bertolt, and look how that had turned out.

Armin looked at Jean for a little while longer before tearing his eyes away. Even if Jean was an enemy, there was nothing he could do about it right now. He really doubted Jean was an enemy though, seeing as he wanted to join the Military Police but gave that up, meaning he probably wasn't after Eren, not to mention all the times he'd risked his life for them. Still Annie had done nearly the exact same thing and yet she was an enemy as wel-

Armin's thought was caught short by a small "found it!" that could barely be heard unless you were close to whoever had uttered it. Jean was looking for something, just as Armin had expected, and he had very obviously found it. 

"Jean?" Connie asked before Armin had the chance to. 

"I found it. The old orphanage. Eren told me to try and find it, so we have a place to sleep while Sasha heals. There's no way we'll be able to get her back in this condition, especially because all the horses are either dead or injured. No matter how much Captain Levi thinks we can do it, it doesn't change reality. She won't make it if we set out to get back today, and we can't afford to lose any more people..." Jean trailed off after the last sentence. 

Ah, yes, the orphanage. Armin remembered it well. It was an old building, practically ruins, that had been standing in the forest ever since forever. It had apparently been built before the titans, so it was a surprise that it was still standing. He'd see it often when he'd go help Eren and Mikasa with gathering firewood. It seemed sturdy enough, as it still stood mostly undamaged even after all that's happened, and yet Armin couldn't help but worry a bit, couldn't help but imagine the ceiling caving in on them, killing them all and wiping out humanity's only hope for survival.

There was no other option though, it was safer than sleeping on the walls, completely exposed, and definitely safer than finding refuge in Shiganshina itself, what with the fires and the debris and the god knows what else.

"How do you expect to convince Captain Levi to back off? You know the man is stubborn as a horse right?" Connie demanded, rolling his eyes.

"You're going to help me obviously. And Armin too. What with that brain of his, I'm sure he can figure something out. Right Armin?" Jean replied, suddenly looking at him.

"No thanks Jean, we need Armin alive and not dead at the hands of Levi" Connie said. At least they were joking again. It may not have been sincere, it may have been just a distraction from the emotions that were threatening to wreck them all, but at least they were joking again.

Armin attempted to hide back a snicker at Connie's words, quite obviously failing. Jean sent him a glare before continuing.

"Fine then. I guess I'll have to do it myself. I bet no one cares if **I** die at the hands of captain Levi".

Of course. The joking guilt-tripping. They really were the same people, no matter what had happened to them today. All of that would probably settle in later, and for now they should probably just enjoy their last moments of happiness before the losses they've encountered become all too painful to bear.

Connie and Armin couldn't help but laugh a little at Jean's comments. He really was funny when he wanted to be, definitely not the jerk Armin had first thought he was.

"We should probably give Sasha some water don't you think? Last thing we need is her dying on us. Levi will be furious" Jean said again, before muttering a "fine, I'll do it" once no one volunteered, and reached over to the pile of supplies, rummaging around a little before finding some water.

"When do you think they'll be back? It's turned from hot as hell to cold as fuck and it's started to get dark. Not to mention my throat's starting to hurt from inhaling all this goddamned smoke" Connie almost whined.

"Shut up Connie, they'll be here soon enough, I'm sure of it" Jean said, gently shaking Sasha to get her to wake up.

Jean was right - well, more or less. Eren and the others arrived around a half hour after the sun had set completely, and while it would be a pain to walk in the dark, Armin was glad they were okay. 

"Sorry we took so long, there was a giant boulder on the entrance and all of us are pretty worn out so it took a while to move it" Eren muttered.

"It's alright" Armin said, "what did you find?"

"Just a few books. Didn't get a chance to look through them though. Everyone's in pretty bad shape and we need to get to that orphanage before it's too dark to tell Captain Levi apart from a small, angry child" Eren answered, the last part hushed as to not be overheard.

Armin was a little surprised. In all the time he'd known Eren, he'd never seen him joking after a mission like this. Jean and Connie and Sasha would because that was how they coped. Eren preferred to stay silent. And alone. So Eren's newfound happiness greatly worried Armin. Was he, like the rest of them, using humor as a way to cope, or was he hurting so bad that he was putting on a front? Armin would ask him later, when they were safe.

Soon enough, they set off toward the orphanage. To Armin's surprise, there was no need to convince the Captain. Eren had already taken care of that, nagging at him until he agreed. They walked as a group, everyone trying their best to keep up - Eren carrying Sasha on his shoulder, seeing as how he was in the best shape out of them all due to his titan healing abilities. Jean, Connie, and Mikasa carried most of their supplies, and Levi and Armin tried to help as best as they could, seeing as how they were both in a horrible state. They didn't let Hanji take the risk of carrying anything, instead letting her focus on the path in front of her, her injured eye making the walk in the dark an even bigger challenge.

The walk was quite short, around an hour, no more than that, and when they finally passed through the door of the old building, everyone seemed to heave a sigh of relief. They had made it, and Armin hoped it would stay that way. 

The orphanage was small, a singular room more or less all that that was left standing after the latest titan attack. It was quite a big room though, more than enough to accommodate for them all, and then some. The walls were made of old brick, browned with age and crumbling slightly at the edges. The floor was made of grey stone that Armin found to be incredibly cold against his feet. Vines and leaves and unidentifiable plants grew in between the cracks, both in the walls as well as sprouting from the floor.

They settled down, preparing to spend at least a few days here. Sasha would take a while to heal, not to mention everyone else was injured as well. Maybe not as bad but none of them were in the best shape.

Hanji beckoned them to gather around, and so they did, standing in what Armin assumed would look like a lumpy oval if you were to stare at their odd formation from above.

"Alright, if we're going to survive these next few days we need some sort of plan of action. I assume we'll be staying here for around four to five days, a week at most" Hanji started. "Jean, Connie - you're in charge of supplies. Check how much we have in terms of food, and try to ration it so we won't starve to death. Assume we'll be staying a week". Jean and Connie nodded before walking over to the pile of supplies they had carried in.

"Armin and Eren, you both have at least some kind of medical knowledge, correct?" She turned to them.

"Yeah, more or less. Eren knows much more than I do though" Armin answered, his hand moving the scratch the back of his neck like it always did when he was nervous.

"Good. Any kind of medical knowledge is useful right now, it doesn't matter how much you know. You'll be assessing injuries, try and treat them as best as possible. Inspect Sasha and tell me how long it'll be until she'll be stable enough for us to head back. Do your best, considering our supplies are limited" Hanji continued.

With a nod of the head and a small hum of understanding Armin and Eren joined Connie and Jean, Hanji's voice dishing out commands behind them.

"What are we working with Jean?" Eren asked, leaning over Jean's shoulder to try and catch a glance of their supplies.

"Nothing much. From what we've managed to sort through we have some bandages, some kinda disinfectant I think, some anti-nausea stuff, and this is some special thing Hanji made for dealing with pain" he held up a bottle of clear liquid as he spoke.

"Dealing with pain huh? Probably would've been expensive as hell if it we'd have tried to buy some back in the districts" Connie muttered. 

He was right. Eren was very familiar with painkillers and how hard it was to make them. His dad was the only doctor he knew who really knew how to make them work. He wondered if Hanji's version would work as well as his father's. They were, as Connie had guessed, expensive, seeing as relieving pain was something almost unheard of until very recently. You either dealt with the pain, hoping you'd pass out at some point so you wouldn't have to suffer, or you died trying to.

"That's about all we have for now. We'll let you know if we find something" Jean said while turning his gaze back to the supplies and starting to dig through them once again.

Armin and Eren nodded, and tried to figure out how they could tend to everyone's injuries with the limited supplies they had. They came to the conclusion they'd have to use most of it on Sasha, and hope for the best. Hope that they'd have enough for the rest. They couldn't let Sasha die, they couldn't lose anyone else.

They bandaged Sasha again, using maybe half their supplies on her. The gash along her shoulder was deep, and nearly hit her chest. Armin was glad it didn't, if the hook had hit her heart or broken her ribs, or even ventured a little upward and punctured her throat who knows what would've happened.

They finished up with Sasha and split up, Armin going to help with Connie, Jean's, and Mikasa's minor injuries, and Eren went to help Hanji with her eye and Levi with whatever the hell happened to him.

Armin was still nauseous. He hated this. Some part of him really wanted someone to help him with that, just like he was helping the others, but he didn't want to waste supplies on himself. He'd heal just fine what with his newfound titan abilities, not to mention it was only nausea, worst case scenario he'd throw up. He felt really guilty for even thinking about using the limited supplies they had on himself, what with everyone else being in a much worse state.

The rest of the night was pretty much a blur. Bandages and slightly stale bread followed by even more nausea and why the hell did he eat while nauseous? It was a waste of food if he'd throw it up. Armin realized that may just be all that he was. A waste. A burden.

It was with that negative thought that he was finally allowed to get to bed, to rest. He tried to make himself useful, offered to keep watch, maybe even watch over Sasha, but Hanji insisted he get some rest. As if that was possible. He doubted he'd manage to get any sleep, tossing and turning in an uncomfortable tangle of incredibly thin sheets. 

Somehow, he managed to drift off, exhaustion slowly taking over. His moment of peace didn't last long though, seeing as he woke around three hours later. It was around four in the morning and Jean, who was supposed to be on the lookout, was fast asleep, slumped against the wall. Armin supposed it was good that he'd woken up, seeing as he could now take over for Jean if he wanted him to. He couldn't imagine going back to sleep, especially with how he'd become even more nauseous during the time he'd slept, if that was even possible.

He remembered having a bad dream. What was it about? He couldn't remember. He just knew it was pretty bad. His stomach lurched again and suddenly he remembered. Splatters of blood everywhere, being burnt nearly to death, and Erwin. Erwin, who was supposed to be alive. Erwin, who should've been here right now instead of him.

And just like that, all the feelings he'd suppressed at the wall came rushing out, nearly choking him in the process. He scrambled up quickly, determined not to let anyone wake up and see him like this, and rushed over to one of the side rooms right next to the one they had settled in. They hadn't deemed this room all that safe, seeing as how most of the ceiling here was caved in, but he didn't really care right now.

Tears were streaming down his face, his hand over his mouth attempting to muffle the sounds. He couldn't breathe all that well and the nausea was almost overwhelming. He couldn't breathe and oh fuck everything hurt really bad.

He hadn't even noticed he'd sunk down to the floor, his back against the crumbling walls and his legs folded toward his chest. His vision was blurred with tears, and his chest really hurt, and oh my god did he really just make that pitiful sound? Armin was so out of it he didn't even notice the door open behind him, only seeing the silhouette of the person when they were right next to him.

"Oh my god shit shit shit, they can't see me like this. They'll think I'm weak, demented" he thought. He turned away, trying to hide his face, before he heard a voice. And for once, things in his life were going okay, because this was exactly the voice he wanted to hear right now, while in this state.

"Armin?" Eren asked again, trying to get a look at his turned face, "are you okay?". When he didn't get a response he slid down next to him, Eren's left shoulder touching Armin's right. "Armin you're freaking me out can you turn around? Are you injured? Sick?" Eren got no answer except for the shake of Armin's shoulders as he sobbed even more and oh shit, Armin was crying.

"Armin, hey, look at me" Eren said, reaching over to turn Armin's gaze to him, leaving his side so he could instead situate himself in front of him. Armin reluctantly turned his head, blue eyes rimmed with red and swelling with tears. "Armin" Eren said again, "are you okay, what's wrong?".

Armin couldn't help but think how the hell Eren could ask if he was okay while he was quite literally having no short of a mental breakdown. He tried to answer, he really did, but he couldn't speak, he just couldn't. So instead he tapped Eren's hand three times, hoping he'd get the message.

Eren asked if Armin was alright again, very confused as to why he was breathing so heavily and why he was tapping his arm.

Oh shit. Wait. Armin was tapping his arm. It was the signal. The signal they'd made for when one of them was having a panic attack and couldn't speak.

"Oh shit Armin" he said, his voice full of sympathy for the boy. Usually it was him who would be in this situation, so he wasn't really sure what to do, but he'd sure as hell try his best. He decided to just do what Armin did every time. "Is it okay if I get closer or do you want space?" he asked. One tap. Meaning no. Damn it. This was worse than he thought.

"Alright that's fine, just let me know if you change your mind okay?" he said, removing his hand from Armin's face. The last thing he wanted to do was make the situation worse. "Armin you've gotta try and calm down for me okay? I know it's really hard right now, but just try and breathe".

At first he thought maybe Armin was so far gone he couldn't even hear him anymore, but then he took a shaky breath in. Shaky and frantic, but at least a little better. Tears were still freely streaming down his cheeks, and Eren was finding it very very hard to calm Armin down without pulling him into an embrace. But Armin had said no. So he couldn't.

Armin meanwhile, was still very much not okay. In the midst of all his panic he was for some reason remembering what had happened when he'd had to pretend to be Historia. He remembered that nasty man's hands all over him, fingers fluttering over places they shouldn't as he struggled against the rope binding him to the chair. Why was he remembering this now? Another thing he didn't know. What he did know though, was that he definitely didn't want anyone touching him right now, even if it was Eren. 

He also knew that he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe and oh, fuck, everything hurt and he wanted it to stop. He wanted it to stop. He wanted his mind to shut up and he wanted it to stop. Please make it stop.

He was so mad at himself. Why couldn't he speak? Why was he always being saved by other people? Why was everything hurting so much? He wanted it to stop, he really did, but he just didn't know how. 

The next thing Armin knew, he was throwing up. He'd somehow managed to steer clear of Eren, but he still felt disgusted nonetheless. Eren was seeing him like this, a mess. He'd never felt more embarrassed. Even as he expelled the contents of his stomach, all he could think of was "damn it. I really was a waste of food after all".

Before he knew it, there was a soothing hand on his back, somehow acting as an anchor, helping him through it he supposed. And he realized he did not mind it anymore. No, the touch wasn't threatening. It was warm, and comforting. Exactly what he needed right now. 

Armin coughed as he spat out the last of the nasty substance rising in his throat, the tears in his eyes still streaming down, his breath still as quickened and frantic as before. The only difference was that now Eren was there to help him. And Armin was willing to let him. Armin flung himself onto Eren, catching him by surprise, nearly making him fall over. They were both sitting against the wall again, Armin's face in Eren's shoulder, making his shirt wet with tears, and he couldn't help but hope he didn't make it dirty with vomit as well.

Despite his ability to now form coherent thoughts that weren't about Erwin or titans or blood, his mind was still racing at what seemed like a thousand miles per hour. He felt like shit, everything still hurt, and the room smelled of throw up.

But all that was pushed away as Armin heard a voice right next to his ear. "Shh Armin, I'm here. I'm not leaving, I'm not going anywhere".

Armin's shoulders shuddered as he let out those awkward little hiccups you got when crying really hard. Fuck, this was embarrassing. 

"Armin, do you think you can try and take some deep breaths for me?" Eren asked. Armin didn't think he could try, but he'd do it anyway. He didn't really have a choice did he?

Armin took a few shaky breaths in, finding it much easier now that he wasn't so nauseous anymore and that Eren was here. "That's good Armin, you're doing great. Just like that" Eren continued, whispering sweet nothings to him as his fingers drew small shapes in between his shoulder blades.

Armin kept trying to control his breathing, all the crying and the hiccupping making it quite the challenge. Eren seemed to notice he was struggling and moved Armin's hand over to his chest. "Breathe with me Armin okay? Just try and copy my breathing".

Armin's head was now turned sideways on Eren's chest, his ear pressing right where Eren's heart was. He could hear it beating. It was soothing, for some reason. The beating of Eren's heart and the feeling of his breathing and his fingers running through his hair slowly calming Armin down until all that was left of his panic attack were the streams of tears still falling and the little hiccups that escaped no matter how much he willed them not to. 

Eren hated seeing Armin like this. It broke his heart hearing his little whimpers and sharp breaths and small utterings of "make it stop. Make it stop". Eren knew exactly why this had happened, and he'd stay with Armin the entire night if he had to, calming and soothing all those irrational thoughts away.

Eren didn't want to interrogate him yet, instead choosing to sit on the floor for a little longer, running his fingers through blond hair. His back hurt from leaning against the stone and the floor was so cold he felt like he was sitting in a freezer instead of a crumbly room, but he didn't move. Instead he let ten minutes pass by, and then waited just a little more before deciding to speak.

"Armin?" he asked hesitantly, secretly hoping he wasn't asleep. Sure, he wanted Armin to rest, but he also wanted to reassure him that whatever had happened today was not his fault.

He got no answer, only tired blue eyes shifting to look up at him. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked, hoping Armin would give in. Armin shook his head. Of course he didn't give in. That was expected. Fine. He'd work with that.

"Armin, listen. Whatever happened today wasn't your fault. You came up with a plan, a great one at that. You sacrificed yourself for everyone else. You're more of a hero than I could ever be. What Levi decided to do was not your decision, and you know what? I'm glad he made this decision. Even if I wasn't your friend I would've been glad. You're brilliant Armin, absolutely amazing, and you've come up with so many great plans to save us over the years I don't even think you remember half of them. And fuck anyone who says otherwise" Eren finished determinedly, looking into those blue eyes the entire time. 

Armin smiled a little, uttering a hoarse "thank you, Eren" before lifting himself up a little to press a kiss to Eren's cheek. It was sweet, and fluttery, and made Eren's heart leap a little. No matter how many times Armin did that, he still never could get used to it.

Eren decided to return the favor and pressed a kiss to Armin's forehead, probably taking him by surprise seeing as he tensed a little. "We should probably get up now what do you say? My ass is absolutely freezing and we should probably clean this up" Eren looked pointedly at the puddle of sick.

"Oh yeah. Sorry about that" Armin apologized, lifting himself off of Eren, leaning on the wall a little as he stood up, legs still a little shaky.

"None of that. It's not your fault you hear me? Apologize again and I might just beat your ass" Eren joked, resting his hand on the door handle.

"Pfft, yeah, I'd like to see you try. Bet my titan's stronger than yours anyway" Armin said back

"You wanna test that?" Eren threatened jokingly, hand leaving the door handle as he took a step toward Armin.

"Not now idiot, you're probably so worn out you couldn't even stand straight"

"Says you"

"What happened to 'oh Armin, it's not your fault for having a panic attack, blah blah blah"

"Next time I'll leave you alone, how about that?"

"You wouldn't"

"If you're gonna be such a nuisance I won't hesitate"

"Oh yea-" Armin was cut off by quite an angry:

"Jesus Christ will you guys just shut up already? Bickering like some old married couple" from the other side of the door. 

They immediately fell silent, Eren snickering a little.

"Jean, shouldn't you be on the lookout instead of meddling in people's personal business?" Eren asked.

"Shouldn't you be cleaning? I really don't want to spend a week in a room smelling of sick" Jean said, suddenly making Armin feel a little guilty all over again.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Eren said, noticing Armin's slight frown and putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Jean fell silent, and Eren turned to Armin before speaking "Armin get to bed alright? I'll take care of this". Armin shook his head.

"I'm not letting you do this by yourself" he argued.

"I don't wanna hear it. Also, if you don't go right now I swear to god Armin I will be shoving nausea medicine down your throat"

Armin scrunched his face up in disgust. Medicine was disgusting. "Fine" he gave in. He really didn't want to trouble Eren even more than he'd already had. And he definitely didn't want to waste any more supplies than they'd already used.

Eren gave him a little smile, happy that he wasn't going to give him trouble. He pressed another kiss to his forehead, muttering a little "thank you" before leading Armin out, making sure he got back into bed. By some miracle, none of the scouts except for Jean (who was supposed to be awake anyway) had been woken up from Armin's little outburst. He was very grateful for this. He really didn't have the energy to listen to unnecessary questions or rambling right now. 

Once Eren had made sure Armin was in bed and doing okay he grabbed a canteen of water and a rag of some sort (they weren't at risk of running out of water, seeing as the orphanage was right next to the river) and made his way back toward the side room they'd been in just moments before.

He wasn't going to tell Armin this, of course, but he planned on getting some anti-nausea meds in him after he was done cleaning, despite the fact that he'd promised not to. Armin would probably hate him for that, but it really was for the best. Eren didn't blame him though, the stuff really was nasty.

Eren finished cleaning to the best of his abilities and stood back for a moment to check if he'd missed a spot. Canteen now empty, he went back to the room they were staying in and rummaged through the supplies gathered in the corner to try and find another one. Armin needed to drink something, throwing up can make you really dehydrated.

"Eren?" he heard Armin's voice, still hoarse from all the crying. He was still awake. That was good. He'd probably cooperate less if he was awake and not half asleep but at least Eren wouldn't have to worry about him choking on water or something.

"One sec Armin, I'm coming over in a minute, just getting something" he answered in a whisper, careful not to wake anyone.

Eren finally found another canteen of water and some of the nasty liquid he'd be forcing into Armin in just a second. He didn't look forward to it. At all. But he couldn't risk having him throw up again. He walked over and crouched down next to the little bundle of sheets that was Armin. "Armin" he started, sighing as he prepared himself for a very childlike response, "Armin can you sit up for me please?"

Armin groaned. "Why?" he asked, peeking his head out of the sheet so thin you could hardly call it a blanket.

"Just water. See?" Eren held up the canteen, setting the small vial of medicine out of sight.

"Fine" Armin grumbled, propping himself up on his elbows, sighing in annoyance when Eren forced him to sit completely upright.

Eren brought the canteen to Armin lips, tilting it slightly so the water poured into his mouth.

"You don't have to baby me you know" Armin huffed.

"Last I recall, you were the one crying as I held you like a child" Eren teased.

"Oh shut up. I would've been fine without you" Armin said back. He wasn't hurt by Eren's words, he knew they were all just jokes. Eren had been the one crying like a child many, many times before, after all, and so he had no right to actually tease him about it. Just as a joke.

"Didn't look like it" Eren said, grinning as he tilted the canteen again, forcing water down his throat and making it impossible for Armin to retaliate. Despite all he said, Eren knew Armin appreciated him. He just got like this when he was unwell, it was like he didn't have the energy to be nice to everyone anymore. It was actually quite funny if he was being completely honest, seeing Armin just let his mouth run loose.

Eren was now faced with one of the most difficult tasks on Earth. No, it wasn't fighting titans, and no, it wasn't enduring Captain Levi beating the shit out of him. It was getting meds down Armin's throat. Without dying, of course. An impossible task, he was sure of it. Still, he'd have to find a way.

"Armin" he started hesitantly, making the boy look up at him, eyes full of worry.

"Are you okay Eren?" he asked, starting to panic once again. What if something had happened to Eren? What if he was hurt? Injured? Sick? What if-

"Yes Armin, I'm fine" Armin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Then what is it?" he asked.

Eren didn't say anything, just reached for the glass bottle, clear liquid sloshing around as Armin stared at it, a look of utter betrayal and horror on his face. It was almost funny. In fact, it would have been, if he wasn't about to have to fight Armin probably tooth and nail to get it inside him.

"Erennnnnn" Armin whined, dragging out his name.

"Come on Armin, it'll be quick. Just swallow it fast and I swear you won't even taste it" that was a lie. They both knew that. "Armin please. I promise I'll leave you alone after this okay?" Eren tried to negotiate, but it wasn't working. Obviously.

Armin shook his head, burying it in Eren's chest, his lips pinched together in a line, unbreachable. 

Eren sighed. "Armin I swear to god if you don't drink this I will wake Mikasa and she'll hold you down as I force this down your throat. Do you want that?" he asked, as though speaking to a child. Armin was acting like one at the moment, another thing that happened when he wasn't feeling great.

"Eren I threw up because I was panicking, not because I'm sick, please just leave me be" he whined again, his words muffled in Eren's shirt.

"You weren't doing all that great before either. Don't think I didn't see you while we were eating. You practically threw up right then and there. Besides, this isn't to help with the vomiting, it's to help with the nausea" He tried to convince him.

"Same thing" Armin argued.

"Come on Armin, please just drink it" Eren pleaded. He really needed Armin to drink this or he'd get himself sick. Armin didn't know this, and Eren didn't want to tell him, so as not to freak him out, but he also wanted Armin to drink the medicine because the first few titan transformations exhaust your body. Nobody knew this, but during the days he'd been held captive by the Military Police he was a mess, throwing up anything that he managed to swallow, passing out and running fevers higher than he'd ever had before. At the time he was sure he was gonna die, and it sure felt like it.

Armin sighed defeatedly, his hands curling into fists and grasping at Eren's shirt. Was he going to give in? Eren hoped he would. "Fine" he said, looking up at Eren with pleading eyes, almost as though he was hoping that if he gave in Eren would let him off. 

Eren would be doing no such thing.

"Thank you angel" he said, and took note of the blush spreading on Armin's cheeks. It was always funny to watch him react to that one word. Eren wasn't lying though. Armin really was an angel.

He then popped open the lid of the glass vial, and slowly brought it toward Armin's lips. Armin closed his eyes, trying his best not to scrunch his face up in disgust, even though he hadn't even drank it yet. Eren smiled a little at this. It was cute. He started tipping the bottle over, watching as the clear liquid emptied into Armin's mouth, disgust now clear on his face.

He drank it all, coughing as Eren discarded of the vial. "I'm sorry. I know it's disgusting".

"Disgusting is an understatement" Armin coughed out.

Eren handed him the canteen once again, letting him wash out the awful taste. "Go to sleep now, okay? You need to rest" he whispered.

Armin was already lying down before he even finished the sentence. Panic attacks and transformations and crying were apparently all very exhausting things, and now that the aftertaste of the meds was almost gone Armin could hardly keep his eyes open.

"Stay" he muttered, his voice small.

"I wasn't planning on leaving baby. I told you, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere"

And so Armin drifted off, all while fingers stroked through his hair, gently untangling any knots that might've been there. He was okay, he was safe, and he had the love of his life right there with him. Armin slept well that night, finally getting the peace of mind he deserved, if only for a few hours.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this. Because I don't. Like at all. It took me three days though. Um, let me know if ya'll want me to make a part two where Armin gets "titan sick" like Eren did.


End file.
